A scared citizen...

Mumbai came under attack. Terrorists. They came with a purpose and achieved more than what they wanted...

I am a citizen of India and now, I will think twice before going to a Mall, Cineplex or a Hotel. I will never set foot in a 5-star hotel after this perhaps. I will always look at 20-something boys carrying shoulder-bags with a little suspicion or for that matter anyone carrying a rucksack. I will, at all times look for owners of bags and suitcases in trains, buses or even public places. I will make a mental note of all the fire-exits and nearest staircases at all places, wherever I am. I will not believe in the efficiency of metal-detectors, for a man just illustrated that even after carrying a gun, the detector did nothing. I will not have any faith in our so called ‘leaders’. I will look at most politicians with disgust. I will feel unsafe in my own country.

I will worry for my daughter, for the world she will grow up to live in. Will I ever have the peace and calm that I am entitled to?

A Mother’s Memoir

Being a mother and watching your child grow is I think one of the best gifts from god to a woman. The way those tiny fingers which knew just to curl up, slowly unfold and learn to point at things, to hold things. The way the unsteady neck, strengthens up to hold the head high and mighty. The way the tender legs, which knew only to kick the air listlessly, toughen up to crawl, stand and even walk! It’s truly wonderful, the way a small baby grows into an active, inquisitive little toddler! And am truly lucky to have been with my li’l one, all through out this beautiful one year!

I remember all those milestones and the joyous emotion it evoked every time. For instance, when S’na was three months old she had turned over once or twice and then gave up on it until suddenly in her fifth month she decided to do it all over again and this time she really loved it. She would be on her back and in a jiffy just roll to her sides and go onto her stomach. How much Arjun and I loved those times she did it and then would smile graciously at us!

She started sitting at the beginning of the seventh month. I will never forget that day when she first did it…I couldn’t believe she did it so easily, as if someone had tutored her on it. From her fours, she just moved back in such a way that she hit the floor and then she just sat! Of course, she just managed to sit for only few minutes and bang, she fell. Falls always happened along with the achievements. But it never deterred her. She continued to sit and look at the world from a new perspective.

From sitting, graduating to moving on all fours happened very swiftly. We had bought her a toy bike-rider that used to play a song and move along. One day S’na decided she’s had enough of the toy going round and round and so started crawling behind it and caught it. Once she discovered the joy of independence, she never looked back. She would crawl to all the parts of our house, explore the dark corners, go behind the line of ants and crawl on and on. She loved it.

She loved crawling so much that I think she decided not to move on to walking very soon. So it was only two months past her 1^st birthday that she started walking. I remember the lengths Arjun and I would go to urge her to start walking. We got her a walker, with those fancy play-things attached and a musical horn. Then when she dint walk much with it, we thought perhaps those fancy things distract her and got her another walker, this time a more traditional one made of wood and without any frills. She dint seem to like this one too much either. I would also take her to the park for her to see other kids running and playing and maybe get inspired in the process! Of course, I was just being an over-concerned parent. Anyways, the day did come. It was Diwali and maybe the diwali-spirit in her got her to do it, her tiny feet took their first steps…it was the best Diwali! J

So there you go, now she is fourteen months old, walks around the house as if she owns it and has even started saying some words. She says bow-wow when she sees a dog and says cheese when she wants some. She loves to play with her toy piano which plays different tunes for each button and she enjoys playing with her rubber ducks while bathing. She loves for me to read her a book, her first book with colorful pictures and cartoons, before she goes to sleep. She adores playing peek-a-boo with appa and loves for him to cuddle her as soon as he's home from work.

I know these coming months are going to be a lot of fun, as she’s going to be learning to talk much more and I can wait for it. Her every tiny step is precious and the memories are worth a million!

Rock On – Zindagi Millegi Na Doobara!

I booked tickets after a lot of thought and persuasion from my brother. As the day neared, I felt a guilty twinge inside me. I was going to watch a movie with my brother, leaving my darling daughter, who is all of eleven months back at home, with hubby dearest. What if she throws a tantrum, what if she doesn’t fall asleep, what if she’s hungry and my hubby doesn’t know it and lot of other ‘what ifs’ haunted me. However with my husband putting his foot down on my taking a time-off, I relented and went along with bro.

The movie we saw was Rock on…and boy, it sure rocked! The movie was essentially about four guys, who used to be a rock band but fall apart due to some reasons (hey, I have to be vague else why would u watch the movie) and how they get back together. It has some stunning performance from Farhan Akhtar. In fact all the four guys in the band have acted brilliantly. But the real star of the movie is the music…its just awesome. My personal favorites are ‘Pichele Saat dino’, ‘Socha hai’ and ‘Tum ho tho’. It’s a must watch for anyone who enjoys a good script, excellent acting and rocking music.

The tagline of the movie went Live your Dream. It urged viewers to think about what they really wanted to do, what their real passion was and pursue that without loosing faith. Like the protagonist, many of us live the seemingly perfect life, but deep inside we know that its not so. Sometimes we forget that our dreams and desire is what completes us and ignites the spark within.

I know we also have to live a practical life. I get it that only if I earn good money with a decent job will I even be able to afford say a guitar class or cameras for photography. But unfortunately we loose ourselves in our dreary life that our dreams and aspirations are all bundled away. Of course, there is also the question of time. As it is we juggle with so many different things in a day. I can hear someone ask, “Where is the time to do one more thing”? Well, only you should answer that…to yourself. As for me, I know that for me to be able to do something, for just myself, like say a dance class or tennis lessons, I have to not only afford the classes but also a good baby-sitter! :)

Anyways, after a thoroughly enjoyable break, I got back home to my sleeping daughter. As I tucked her in, I silently vowed to myself that I won’t be engulfed by the repetitive, dull living, I owe it to myself, owe it to her as well.